The community at OCCA has been a very unique gift. i have learned a lot from them. i could go on about that forever... but wanted to focus this post on how i have seen God work in community, how he has spoken to me through the community, and opened my eyes to the beauty of being in community.
i want to first recognize that i know this community is unique. to have 28 people together who have a similar passion to know God, to make Him known, and to love each other deeply, it's rare and hard to create outside of programs that I am in. but it is an example of what the church can look like, and a glimpse of the body of Christ.
one of our tutors vince said "get 28 people together from different countries, different backgrounds, and put them in close quarters for a year- sounds like a recipe for a bad reality show. what is different here? God." we all have the power of the Holy Spirit, the author of love and compassion helping us and allowing us to build deep and intentional community. it has been quite amazing to see the community form, and how close we have gotten within 3 months of knowing each other. it has been so eye opening to get outside of america, outside of my bubble, and learn from backgrounds and perspectives from around the world.
how have i seen this? well first of all i think we just really enjoy being with one another so we just do things together. we cook dinner, we go to pubs, sit at coffee shops, go to church, etc. at thanksgiving we all rallied and cooked a big meal together. go americans! ha. when one of us is struggling or going through a hard time, we have gathered together to fast and pray. when someone is encountering a lot of hard questions, we divide them up and work together to answer them the best we can. we update each other on how God is working in the communities we are in, and pray that God would be at work. we talk about hard topics, wrestle through them together, talk about theology, and just talk about life.
God has really used this community to shape and mold me. as part of this transformation, he has opened my heart to trust Him and trust this community. part of bringing me out of my anxiety was bringing me out of a lot of ways i was trying to cling to security and protection within myself. not allowing myself to give and be totally honest with the community, therefore not letting others help me or speak into my life. these walls have started to crumble. how? a lot of raw honesty. there are a few people in this community that have really been able to listen and encourage and pray. its taken some raw honesty and kind of bearing all- but in hope and in trust that God is transforming and that through prayer and through community things can change. and its been amazing.
some people who i am close to can really relate to my battle with perfectionism. meaning, we don't like that we hold ourselves to the standard of perfection. i did not see how much this was affecting me until being in this community, and realizing how much it has robbed me of just trying things. one day over lunch a good friend said "rachel, why don't you start holding yourself accountable to learning instead of perfection." i did not even see that this was hard for me- but ever since that lunch, those words have been so great to remind myself of. learning, and being in process, is part of the journey.
this truth has crept into so many areas of learning for me... throughout the semester. embrace the process. in a grand scheme of community, i have learned to fight for friendships. that the people are worth more than your feelings, conflict, etc. the community here has seen me at my best and at my worst, and they are still here, still encouraging me and still for me. its been a great picture of unconditional love. and if this is a vision of human love, how much more unconditional love does God have for us? i have prayed and hope that i can be someone who can truly love through the thick and thin. its easier said than done. but this has been a great place to learn that. to push through trial, conflict, differences, and just choose to love.
i'll give two quick specific examples of how honesty and intentionality have blended together to build community.
1) David (from Hungary), Winston (from South Africa) and I have been meeting to pray in the mornings. after about a week or so of praying you realize that you need to break the ice, and share deep things that need prayer. they have taught me so much about Christ and His heart, and how He looks at struggles and situations that need prayer. once again, seeing the importance of opening up places in my heart to let Christ's light and truth shine in.
One day Winston and I were walking to church, and it was a hard day for me. emotionally, mentally, physically. I was telling Winston how I was pleading for God to take some of these struggles away, and how I was just tired. tired of battling within my heart and mind, tired of asking for healing, tired of trying to be okay with "being in process." he responded with an analogy that i bring to mind quite often:
"Rachel, lets pretend you have to go in for a major surgery. You are put to sleep, the doctor starts cutting, doing whatever he needs to do to take this tumor out of you. you wake up in the middle of it, look down, and start freaking out. you see how gross things look, you feel exposed, vulnerable, you don't like being cut open, and wish he would just stop right there and let you go. would that be productive? no. 1) you would not be rid of the tumor 2) there is no way you could walk out of the hospital mid procedure. He said you are on the operating table right now. You have woken up, and you don't like anything about what you see. You are having to be honest, you feel exposed, and you are doubting whether or not this is a good thing. But you have to trust that God is the best surgeon there is. He is really good at what he does. So rest, on the table, trusting that He is doing exactly what needs to be done, and taking just the right amount of time to do it. Trust that these Hands are the best hands that could be doing work on you."
Boom. need i say more? if you are in a place of feeling under construction (which we all are, all the time) and unsure about what God is doing, i hope you can find some hope in that analogy. God is perfect at what he does.
He also gave me an analogy of momentum. Nothing can stop God from loving you, and loving you perfectly. Your sin can't come in the way. Your anxiety can't come in the way. Your unbelief can't come in the way. You cannot throw something in the way of God's momentum to make it come to a halt, or make it stop. He loved you first, perfectly and completely and He is on a mission to love you. (Romans 5:6-8)
2) Our huddle. all the students in OCCA were broken up into groups called huddles, similar to small groups, to process and grow together. we meet on thursdays after chapel and have the opportunity to discuss our walks with God, prayer, relationships with others, ways that we are struggling, what we are wrestling with, what is bringing us joy, how God is teaching us, etc. It has been a great time of accountability and vulnerability. building trust and authenticity in relationships. Each person is brutally honest about themselves, and we are able to speak into the deep places of others, while being challenged ourselves. ours is led by Jo (she is the bomb) who really cares about getting to know us but pushing us too. it has been another wonderful glimpse at unconditional love, having to get over what people could think of me, and trusting that we are here to build one another up. i am so thankful for it.
so i just wrote another novel... but can't say that I am sorry ;) i hope that this post can encourage you. that it can show you the beauty of community, and the reward of working hard for it, but enjoying it just as well. that authentic community is possible. and that God can use community to show us more about Himself.
cheers!
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