bearing it all. Galatians 6:2

The community at OCCA has been a very unique gift. i have learned a lot from them. i could go on about that forever... but wanted to focus this post on how i have seen God work in community, how he has spoken to me through the community, and opened my eyes to the beauty of being in community.

i want to first recognize that i know this community is unique. to have 28 people together who have a similar passion to know God, to make Him known, and to love each other deeply, it's rare and hard to create outside of programs that I am in. but it is an example of what the church can look like, and a glimpse of the body of Christ.

one of our tutors vince said "get 28 people together from different countries, different backgrounds, and put them in close quarters for a year- sounds like a recipe for a bad reality show. what is different here? God." we all have the power of the Holy Spirit, the author of love and compassion helping us and allowing us to build deep and intentional community. it has been quite amazing to see the community form, and how close we have gotten within 3 months of knowing each other. it has been so eye opening to get outside of america, outside of my bubble, and learn from backgrounds and perspectives from around the world.

how have i seen this? well first of all i think we just really enjoy being with one another so we just do things together. we cook dinner, we go to pubs, sit at coffee shops, go to church, etc. at thanksgiving we all rallied and cooked a big meal together. go americans! ha. when one of us is struggling or going through a hard time, we have gathered together to fast and pray. when someone is encountering a lot of hard questions, we divide them up and work together to answer them the best we can. we update each other on how God is working in the communities we are in, and pray that God would be at work. we talk about hard topics, wrestle through them together, talk about theology, and just talk about life.

God has really used this community to shape and mold me. as part of this transformation, he has opened my heart to trust Him and trust this community. part of bringing me out of my anxiety was bringing me out of a lot of ways i was trying to cling to security and protection within myself. not allowing myself to give and be totally honest with the community, therefore not letting others help me or speak into my life. these walls have started to crumble. how? a lot of raw honesty. there are a few people in this community that have really been able to listen and encourage and pray. its taken some raw honesty and kind of bearing all- but in hope and in trust that God is transforming and that through prayer and through community things can change. and its been amazing.

some people who i am close to can really relate to my battle with perfectionism. meaning, we don't like that we hold ourselves to the standard of perfection. i did not see how much this was affecting me until being in this community, and realizing how much it has robbed me of just trying things. one day over lunch a good friend said "rachel, why don't you start holding yourself accountable to learning instead of perfection." i did not even see that this was hard for me- but ever since that lunch, those words have been so great to remind myself of. learning, and being in process, is part of the journey.

this truth has crept into so many areas of learning for me... throughout the semester. embrace the process. in a grand scheme of community, i have learned to fight for friendships. that the people are worth more than your feelings, conflict, etc. the community here has seen me at my best and at my worst, and they are still here, still encouraging me and still for me. its been a great picture of unconditional love. and if this is a vision of human love, how much more unconditional love does God have for us? i have prayed and hope that i can be someone who can truly love through the thick and thin. its easier said than done. but this has been a great place to learn that. to push through trial, conflict, differences, and just choose to love.


i'll give two quick specific examples of how honesty and intentionality have blended together to build community.
1) David (from Hungary), Winston (from South Africa) and I have been meeting to pray in the mornings. after about a week or so of praying you realize that you need to break the ice, and share deep things that need prayer. they have taught me so much about Christ and His heart, and how He looks at struggles and situations that need prayer. once again, seeing the importance of opening up places in my heart to let Christ's light and truth shine in.
One day Winston and I were walking to church, and it was a hard day for me. emotionally, mentally, physically. I was telling Winston how I was pleading for God to take some of these struggles away, and  how I was just tired. tired of battling within my heart and mind, tired of asking for healing, tired of trying to be okay with "being in process." he responded with an analogy that i bring to mind quite often:

"Rachel, lets pretend you have to go in for a major surgery. You are put to sleep, the doctor starts cutting, doing whatever he needs to do to take this tumor out of you. you wake up in the middle of it, look down, and start freaking out. you see how gross things look, you feel exposed, vulnerable, you don't like being cut open, and wish he would just stop right there and let you go. would that be productive? no. 1) you would not be rid of the tumor 2) there is no way you could walk out of the hospital mid procedure. He said you are on the operating table right now. You have woken up, and you don't like anything about what you see. You are having to be honest, you feel exposed, and you are doubting whether or not this is a good thing. But you have to trust that God is the best surgeon there is. He is really good at what he does. So rest, on the table, trusting that He is doing exactly what needs to be done, and taking just the right amount of time to do it. Trust that these Hands are the best hands that could be doing work on you."

Boom. need i say more? if you are in a place of feeling under construction (which we all are, all the time) and unsure about what God is doing, i hope you can find some hope in that analogy. God is perfect at what he does.

He also gave me an analogy of momentum. Nothing can stop God from loving you, and loving you perfectly. Your sin can't come in the way. Your anxiety can't come in the way. Your unbelief can't come in the way. You cannot throw something in the way of God's momentum to make it come to a halt, or make it stop. He loved you first, perfectly and completely and He is on a mission to love you. (Romans 5:6-8)

2) Our huddle. all the students in OCCA were broken up into groups called huddles, similar to small groups, to process and grow together. we meet on thursdays after chapel and have the opportunity to discuss our walks with God, prayer, relationships with others, ways that we are struggling, what we are wrestling with, what is bringing us joy, how God is teaching us, etc. It has been a great time of accountability and vulnerability. building trust and authenticity in relationships. Each person is brutally honest about themselves, and we are able to speak into the deep places of others, while being challenged ourselves. ours is led by Jo (she is the bomb) who really cares about getting to know us but pushing us too. it has been another wonderful glimpse at unconditional love, having to get over what people could think of me, and trusting that we are here to build one another up. i am so thankful for it.


so i just wrote another novel... but can't say that I am sorry ;) i hope that this post can encourage you. that it can show you the beauty of community, and the reward of working hard for it, but enjoying it just as well. that authentic community is possible. and that God can use community to show us more about Himself.

cheers!

worship.

I learned a lot about worship this semester.
the definition of worship: adoring reverence or regard.
in the dictionary it says it can be towards God or to any object that can be considered sacred.
Tim Keller has had many thoughts on worship... and the importance of it. We all worship something, because we were created to worship. This semester I realized that worship does not simply have to be reading the Bible, praying, singing, but it is something deeply entrenched in our hearts and minds. And other things can replace it. We need an encounter with the living God to change our hearts and minds to worship Him in the place that he deserves. These next few blog entries are about my encounters with the living God this semester... and how he truly transformed my heart. Being in a place where I felt a lot of my heart was laid bare, times where I felt hopeless, and felt stuck. God really decided to meet me. He did not only take away a lot of my anxiety and hopelessness, but he replaced it with his love and his grace. 

I thought I would start with some Scripture and songs that really spoke to me this semester. I see this as a foundation of transformation- God opening my heart and mind to new things in the Bible, allowing me to find hope in them, and to praise him through song. singing is one of my favorite things to do, so when He brought songs that allowed my heart to praise Him regardless of the situation I was in, and claim truth about who God is and what He has done, i found such freedom. 

I found starting my day with reading from the Bible, even if it is a verse or too, and starting with worship (singing), really transformed my outlook on the day. these verses gave me hope in the morning, were verses friends gave to me, verses I prayed through, and that I read in devotionals. Looking over my journal I saw that they surrounded my whole semester. 

I hope that you can find some encouragement in them!!! 

Philippians 4:12-13 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

1 Peter 1:8-9 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

 John 15:9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.”

Hebrews 12:2-3 And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

2 Cor 3:17-18 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate[a] the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

Psalm 63 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2063&version=NIV

Psalm 62:8 “Trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to Him for God is our refuge.”

Psalm 130 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%20130&version=NIV

1 Peter 5:7 -11 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Romans 5:5- 8 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. 6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Isaiah 61:10 I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”

Jeremiah 17:7-8 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. 8 They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

---songs---

“The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love, he has compassion on all that he has made, praise the Lord, o my soul. Praise the Lord."

“I rise as You are risen

Declare Your rule and reign

My life confess Your Lordship

And glorify Your Name

Your word it stands eternal

Your kingdom knows no end

Your praise goes on forever

And on and on again

No pow'r can stand against You

No curse assault Your throne

No one can steal Your glory

For it is Yours alone

I stand to sing Your praises

I stand to testify

For I was dead in my sin

But now I rise.”

-      Beneath the Waters, Hillsong

“You're the promise, never failing, You are my reward, You are my reward. I let go of all I am just to have all of you and no matter what the cost I will floowl you, Jesus everything I’ve lost I have found in you, when I finially reach the end I’ll say, you are worth it all.” - Ben Cantelon, Worth it All 

“With every breath I breathe, with every song I sing, to every word you speak I want to shout it out, Lord I am listening, to every word you speak, I’ll go where you will lead, to love the least of these is my greatest offering” - All Sons and Daughters, Spirit Speak 

“Lord, teach me to pray, not just words, not what to say, but my heart and where it should lay, Lord teach me to pray. Let your kingdom come, and let your will be done, in my heart and in my life, as it is in heaven, as it is in heaven.” - a song one of my friends played in worship on a thursday morning!

One Thing Remains- Jeremy Riddle

Your Glory- All Sons and Daughters

Psalm 23- Enter the Worship Circle

Beautiful- Enter the Worship Circle

Higher- Laura Hackett

O Love That Will not Let me Go- Indelible Grace Music

Hallelujah- Ben Cantelon

Cornerstone- Hillsong

How Firm a Foundation!!!!!

God I look to You- Jesus Culture

All Sons and Daughters- Let it Shine

Phil Wickham- Beautiful & The Victory

Send Revival Start With Me

Jesus I Come- Indelible Grace 

If you ever need a new refreshing song, check one of these out! 

I'll be building on these verses in my next blog entries... so keep an eye out ;) This is where a lot of the hope and transformation came this semester. I'm excited to write more about how the community played a huge part in it too! 

Rach

term's over? say whaaaaat?

 reflect:  /rɪˈflɛkt/
verb:  (usually reflect on/upon) think deeply or carefully about

remember:  /rɪˈmɛmbə/
verb:  have in or be able to bring to one’s mind an awareness of (someone or something from the past)
ponder:  /ˈpɒndə/
verb- think about (something) carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion

three words that came to mind when i thought about this blog post. probably for a few reasons. first, it has been so long since i have written! second, i am home and in baltimore- so the only news you get of oxford will be me remembering and reflecting! third, i think taking time to remember is important. in my life, remembering has been a way for me to learn more about God, others, and myself. it's a way to  hold onto what God has done, things that have happened, and look at things in the bigger picture. 

so, here we go. 

i was thinking that over the next few days i would take different subjects or areas in which I have grown over this semester, share some stories. i kept a journal throughout the semester, so looking back will be refreshing. and it will save you from reading one really loooong blog post. in some ways, i think they will all connect- but you will be able to see little bits and pieces of the journey all come together to form a greater picture. i'm thinking of the process of fitting puzzle pieces together to see more of what the grand picture is going to look like, but the whole thing is not near complete. that is how i am picturing this time within the year i am in oxford. 

i'll start tonight light and easy... some of my favorite things i have learned to love in oxford:

1. drinking tea. all day. 

2. walking everywhere

3. eating some form of potato (usually chips) every day. kinda a love hate relationship

4. diversity: there are so many different cultures, ethnicities, areas of study, and types of people here! 

5. Ribena. 

6. lots of coffee shops to hang out at 

7. the style: everyone just wears whatever they want- no matter if it matches or not! 

8. having a community of people around who love to talk and discuss things

9. EATING CURRY

10. the chocolate is so much better here! 

11. the architecture and history here. 

12. kabobs. all day eery day.

12. pubs. the atmosphere & the mulled cider!

13. carol services- singing carols with mulled wine & minced pies! 

14. singing my words probably more than speaking them- thank you, jessie :) 

things I haven't liked:

1. always having my wycliffe card to get into all the buildings 

2. its freezing

3. wycliffe food 

4. almonds are so expensive and hard to find 

5. there is no chic-fil-a 

#firstworldproblems #iprobablycaretoomuchaboutfood 

there aren't many things i don't like! it's lovely here! 

stay posted for updates on what I have been learning and what God has taught me! 

peace, love & space cadets (that one's for you, jo)

Rach