As I have been in Oxford, it has been a hodgepodge of ups and downs. highs and lows. but i think that is part of life- learning to be in process. i have found much joy in the community and settings i have been surrounded by, have been able to laugh, and thank God for hand picking a community of very different individuals. i have spent some mornings and evenings with joy bubbling over, and some crying out to God, with moments of pain, and deep anxiety. My heart has struggled to be at rest, to be content, and to be in process. I have asked many questions to God, and cried out for His voice and His peace.
there have been many days where i have felt on the brinks of defeat, or defeated within my mind or soul. and it is at those times when we need to choose to claim victory. it can be easy to lean towards despair, hopelessness, or fear, but they have not proved to be worthwhile or helpful companions. they actually do not deliver what they promise. so i have prayed, God how are you going to meet me here? how are you going to transform my mind and my heart to trust in your goodness? help my unbelief!
He has come through in many ways, and a main theme is ringing loud and clear: victory. i can claim victory because I am in Christ. that does not mean that the pain or suffering goes away, but it does mean that I have Jesus interceding for me, fighting for me, and with me every step of the way. With His grace i can choose hope, i can rest in peace, and I can receive a joy that does not perish, spoil, or fade.
A friend who has been such a blessing to me just lent me the book Amazing Love by Corrie Ten Boom. The Lord definitely had His hand in that, and just prompted her to give it to me. It has been a source of great refreshment, and from simple truths, helped me fix our eyes back on Christ. One of the quotes is this, "We are not only striving towards victory, but we are fighting from the stance of victory." Boom. Victory is ours. the battles will be waged, and we will fight, but the war has been won. our souls can rest assured of that.
In a devotional I read in the morning, called Joy and Strength, i found two more quotes about victory.
"Courage, it shall be well: we follow a conquering general; yea,
who hath conquered already; and He that hath conquered for us shall ever
conquer in us." Robert Leighton
"Hopefulness of victory is ours, if we only remember that we are
fighting God's battles. And can He know defeat? He who is the God of the
great world around us is the God of the little world within. It is He
who is contending in thee; thou art but His soldier, guided by His
wisdom, strengthened by His might, shielded by His love. Keep your will
united to the love of God, and final defeat is impossible, for He is
invincible!" - George Body
I could write on forever about the ways that those quotes encouraged me, but I hope the Holy Spirit uses them to encourage and strengthen your heart as well- in whatever area you feel you may be facing defeat. the enemy of our souls does not want us to remember victory, but fall into the easy muck of despair, keeping our eyes ever on our circumstances, and our abilities, instead of the strength and adequacy of our beautiful Savior. He is working in us, He is working through us, and He is invincible! As I am battling insecurity, anxiety, transition, etc it has been easy to stay focused on the moment, stay focused on the indadequacy, almost as if worry will fix the problem. It doesnt, and that can even be used to distract us from focusing our eyes and minds on the kingdom. Allow Christ to transform the foundation of your mind, your thoughts, and your battles to one of victory.
God has also come through in community. through being transparent with some women in the group, i have been able to be lifted up in prayer, and from that, be so encouraged by the Word, which truly does sustain us. I have been very encouraged by Philippians 4:10- 13 and Matthew 11:28- 30. Victory is ours in plenty, and in want, and we can exchange our burdens for His rest and His strength. He keeps saying "I've got it, I've got you covered."
I am resting, praying, and thanking God that we do have a God who transforms us. that we can rest that He loves us too much to let us stay the same.
