well... to give an England update- i have a place to live, I have my plane ticket, all my paperwork is in... we're counting down the days!!! it's wild. God has been a sure provider in getting me ready for this trip and equipping me not only spiritually, but mentally as well.. to learn, to fight battles, and to trust. i say all that almost in reflection mode.. as it's been tough. but within the past two weeks He has graced me with a peace that I could not be more grateful for... and has never felt more genuine. so thankful.
so lets just say this summer has been tough. in almost all areas. especially my health. it's been one where standards i may have set and a "great walk with the Lord" have been challenged, and restructured. i think i'm learning more about grace than i knew.
i've been really asking for a little glimpse of how He is going to use these battles...
so monday I'm in the grocery store (ya know casually doing grocery shopping for the fam.. playing mom) weighing my cucumbers.. when this older gentleman walks by me and burps. ok i cant hold it in when someone burps in the most random public place.. so i laugh. he walks by again and says sorry. and i said haha i appreciate someone who is bold enough to burp. and then he explains to me that it is from this medicine he is taking... and so it begins. we are having all the same health problems. from stomach issues to a long list.. we talk about it. (which when i think about it i'm like okay weird that i'm bearing my soul and problems to a 55 year old stranger..) anyways, he starts asking me about what i am doing next year- so i explain. with no idea what apologetics is.. i start unpacking it more. and He asks how the whole "Jesus thing" is important to me and will help with social work. so i get to explain my heart about that a little bit more. and that I am excited to learn more about other views and the truth of Christianity to help me love others well. then he says he was talking to someone and they suggested going to God with everything (his health, drug use, etc) and he said "I know there isn't a God, i just do. trust me."
and to that... i said. well i believe differently. i know there is a God, and He has changed my life. he asks how.. so I give him an abbreviated testimony. then he says that the church is for nuts anyway so it's good that i'm there (insult or compliment.. not sure ha) he goes on to explain his distorted view of the church, and i just simply said its a group of imperfect people all pursuing a relationship with a perfect God who loves us more than we know.
change the subject... random talk again. and as we finally introduce ourselves, i tell him i will be praying for him. and he says, dont bother... i would rather you pray for someone that God actually wanted to hear about.. someone that He would want to help. and i asked him why he thought that. He said that he made fun of God for so many years, and is at a point where if God is really real.. would He please show up. that he is sorry. woaaaaahhhh baby. it's interesting how a firm belief that there is no God could be a mask of a greater pain.. and of greater questions. of not feeling worthy or loved.
so gospel time. got to share with him briefly why we can talk to God whenever, and how he wants to hear our prayers. he loves us and wants to have a relationship with him. about Jesus and what He did. and about how He cares for this man. He was quiet.. and said he would have to take my word for it.
He ended with "well i'm glad i burped out loud."
wow. what a convo starting from a burp. God is soooo good and so gracious! He can weave things and plan conversations in the middle of the produce department!!! He is wild.
then.. just for icing on the cake. i have been praying for a backpack to travel europe with because i cant afford it. today i was walking back from the elementary school with a neighbor i have just started getting to know. was telling her about the adventures. and she goes, well my son backpacked through rome last year would you like to borrow his backpack???
boooom.
what a pocket of sunshine. what a way to show me He is listening, He cares, and He never stops loving us or using us amidst our trials.
